WHY WORRY KILLS

Worry is like weed in your garden. You don’t invite it, neither do you like it. The fact that you don’t like it does not make it stop coming into your garden. Pesticides do help, but the help won’t last longer. Taking drugs, cigars or alcohol in order to forget your worries is like applying pesticides to destroy the weed in your garden. You have to keep on using it until the weed develops stronger resistant attitude to that particular pesticide. You will be Amen addict by then. So, it solves no problem at all.

Worry is not supposed to be treated or managed as they put it across these days. We were never created to cherish worry in us. It’s best dealt with the God’s way.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety (worries) on him because he cares for you.

Prayer is therapeutic. It’s relives and strengthens both, the body, soul and spirit. Your real strength must come from inside you for you to be able to stand against this worry (weed).
Ephesians 3:16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,

Don’t stop casting (throwing), make it your habit. Just cast (throw) your worries to God as you pray. Even if it means throwing daily, keep on. It works. God is listening. One day, you will find yourself above those situations, if you don’t allow these worries (weeds) to grow in your garden.

God bless you all.

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CAN A FETUS HEAR?

 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/471621

You don’t need a college education to influence your child straight from the mother’s womb.
It is written in a very simple way to make it easy to read and implement.
That’s it – that simple.

#parenting, #parents, #raisingachild, #singleparenting

 

IT’S IN MY FLESH

 I have published an eBook on the Smashwoods. It is a book about Christians affected or infected with HIV/AIDS virus. While they believe in healing, they still have to maintain their faith in God against the stigma, be it self or from others. Salvation is not in the body but in spirit.

You can access this book on https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/468458

Thank you for reading it.

 

 

ABOUT THIS BOOK

The most challenging questions in many church members’ minds, including the leadership is, “Can a person who is affected or infected by the HIV/AIDS virus remain a Christian?” This book will help you understand what it’s all about. It will give you the answers beyond the shadow of a doubt.

This book is a direct encouragement to those Christians who are living with HIV/AIDS. It is also a great source of encouragement to those who have not yet believed in Christ Jesus, as long as they are living with HIV/AIDS. It can be used by anyone who is struggling with any kind of a sickness as well to lift up his/her faith.

The information in this booklet has helped many people who were giving up, rise up again and stand. As long as you recite it always and keep your focus on the man Jesus Christ, you will get to that place of your spiritual strength. Once you are there, your immune system will rise up.

I have been working with people of the community for some years. I am a teacher of the Word of God. I have been teaching in theological colleges in the third world and first countries for over twenty years now. There is one thing I have observed and understood some things in the way Jesus Christ understood during his time on earth.

There were people with some diseases which no one would want to get close to, let alone touching them. Those are the people he would go closer to and touch as he ministered to them. I have listed a few Scriptures to stand as examples of how he went forth to those who were sick with all kinds of sicknesses.

BOOK COVER

 

 

PHONEME CONTRACTION

So powerful thing to know effective children can learn even asleep. Their brains are more powerful than a recorder because they can record consciously and unconsciously as well. Don’t wait for them to grow up.

 

Dear Holy Spirit,

Dear Holy Spirit,
I acknowledge You as the One who leads me in the way that I should go.
Thank you for loving me and dwelling inside me.
You are a friends who is always closer than a relative.
I will never be lonely because you are with me always.
You’re my Comforter, Intercessor, Helper, Counsellor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby!
I thank You for teaching me the things of the Kingdom of God.
I open my heart to You today, because you are taking me to the next and higher level of success.
In Jesus’ name.
Hallelujah
Amen.

 

NEVER MEANT TO BE A BLANK SLATE

http://faithtap.com/1206/baby-wants-to-stay-with-mom/

JUST LOOK AT THIS HEART TOUCHING VIDEO OF THIS CHILD’S EMOTIONAL FEELINGS.

I Want To Stay With My Mommy! – Immediately after being born, the nurses place this baby to his mother’s cheek. How he responds when they try to take him away to wash him, is one of the most adorable moments you will see. It is love at first contact as the baby is clinging to his mother not wanting to be let go! Awww!

CHILDREN ARE NEVER AS A BLANK SLATE AS SOME OF THE PSYCHOLOGISTS SAID. THEY HAVE EVERYTHING NEEDED WITHIN THEM TO BE CALLED A HUMAN BEINGS FROM THE DAY OF CONCEPTION.

THE WORD OF GOD TEACHES US THAT
1- THEY HEAR FROM THEIR MOTHER’S WOMB.
From ·birth [L the womb], evil people ·turn away [go astray] from God; they wander off and tell lies ·as soon as they are born [from the belly; (another word for the womb); Psalm 58:3 (EXB)

2- THEY CAN EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS FROM THEIR MOTHER’S WOMB.
Isaac prayed hard to God for his wife because she was barren. God answered his prayer and Rebekah became pregnant. But the children tumbled and kicked inside her so much that she said, “If this is the way it’s going to be, why go on living?” She went to God to find out what was going on. God told her, Two nations are in your womb, two peoples butting heads while still in your body. One people will overpower the other, and the older will serve the younger. Genesis 25:21-24 (MSG)
24 When her time to give birth came, sure enough, there were twins in her womb.

THIS IS JUST LIKE A DROP OF WATER IN THE OCEAN WHEN IT COMES TO CHILDREN EXPRESSING THEMSELVES FROM THE WOMB. THOUSANDS OF EVIDENCE CAN BE DOWNLOADED FROM THE WORD OF GOD.

GOD IS LOVE AND WE ARE CREATED IN HIS IMAGE AND LIKENESS.
Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image and likeness. And let them ·rule [T have dominion] over the fish in the sea and the birds in the ·sky [heavens], over the ·tame animals [beasts; livestock], over all the earth, and over all the small crawling animals on the earth.” Genesis 1:26;

WE ALL KNOW THAT GOD HAS FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS AS WELL.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8;

THIS VIDEO CLIP SHOWS US THAT GOD’S LOVE AT WORK CAN BE TRACKED BACK FROM THE MOTHER’S LOVE. THIS CHILD IS SHOWING US THAT THERE WAS LOVE BONDING WHICH WAS CREATED FROM THE MOTHER’S WOMB.

LET US CONTINUE TO SHOW LOVE TO EVERYONE EVEN FROM THE MOTHER’S WOMB, ESPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW CHRIST.
GOD BLESS YOU

 

TALKING TO YOURSELF? Are you ……….?

Talking to myself like something is not good. We all know that talking to oneself is considered to some extend as mental illness. Some close Christian friends were chatting on-line and the question was asked, “Is talking to yourself actually a sign of mental illness?” He had just read a portion of scripture which encouraged him to talk to his situation and build himself up by doing so. That was a very easy question to the friend. The answer to that was yes. He added another statement innocently as he was trying to help his friend understand the subject, “Talking to yourself can be a symptom of schizophrenia.” This was like a blow between the eyes. He felt like all he had read in the bible was like something which has no meaning.
Then I thought of the habit that I have of talking to myself as I build up my faith as well as reaching forth to my blessings, healing, goals and so forth. These words come quickly into my conscious world. I say some of these words daily and sometimes many times a day.
“I LIVE WITH PURPOSE.
I LIVE WITH OBJECTIVITY.
I AM A SUCCESS AND NOT A FAILURE.
I AM THE HEAD AND NOT THE TAIL.
I AM ABOVE ALWAYS AND NEVER BENEATH.
I AM ANOINTED BY THE SPIRIT OF GOD, WHO LIVES IN ME.
and on and on.”
According to my understanding, talking to yourself isn’t always a sign of mental illness because it is one of the most common habit amongst the humans. It is normal and even healthy. Your future is actually produced and perfected in your mouth. Ask those who made it in life as well as the stars in any sport how they made it. Most of them will tell you that they talked to themselves many times that it was possible and they were able to make it. Not so convinced, read this scripture, Proverbs 18:20-22; “A man’s belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled. Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”
Ever wondered why most of the people who came out of Egypt died in the wilderness. It was because of their testimony after the report of the spies who had no faith. They spoke negative in line with the report given to them by the spies (Numbers 13 to 14). The only two people (Caleb and Joshua) who confessed the word of God, are the ones who made it and possessed what was theirs in the promised land. DEATH and LIFE are in the POWER of your tongue. These two guys (Caleb and Joshua) spoke IN THE SPIRIT OF FAITH according to the word of God. Have a look at this portion of scripture, “We having the SAME SPIRIT OF FAITH according as it is written, I BELIEVED, and therefore have I SPOKEN; we also BELIEVE, and therefore SPEAK (2 Cor 4:13).”
If you always in the in the same spirit of faith which was in Caleb and Joshua, miracles are certain. No matter how many people stand against you and your confession, as long as you are confessing God’s word, you will not be ashamed.
KEEP ON SPEAKING GOD’S WORD INTO YOUR LIFE FOR RESULTS. Someone said, “See what you speak. The Word will create whatever you have spoken. Keep on keeping on.

 

PARENTAL ATTACHMENT WORKS MIRACLES

By Pastor Elasto Marume
Attachment with your children is something that needs maintenance. It comes naturally in the first place, but there is a great need to attend and maintain it. Our homes do need maintenance. If no one is maintaining and putting them to use, they will be affected by the law of degeneration. All things and creatures have the potential to degenerate as long as they are left to themselves to live by their own standards. There will never be educated people in the world if we leave our children to their own standards and wishes. Companies which are growing are not just left to themselves, but someone, somewhere within the company is busy checking and reviewing the movements within the company. A lot of some money is spent on salaries, advertising, consultations, re-branding and so on in order to keep the standards and give worth to the company for its survival. Women do make up everyday in order to look good even if they are not going anywhere or seeing someone. That is maintaining the beauty. So is the attachment between parents and children.
Attachment works wonders when it comes to behaviour. It deals effectively with delinquent, criminal, antisocial, offending, felonious and wrong doings which are more common to children of this century, so called “GEN X.” Attachment irons out unnecessarily carelessness, inattentiveness, sloppiness, recklessness, lack of care, lack of attention and negligence which happens in every home as they play what I call “WHO IS THE HERO” games with parents.
The affectional bonding between infants and parents is both psychological, physical, social and spiritual. Jesus also grew in the same manner even though he was God. We understand this concept from the book of Luke, “And the Child grew and became strong in spirit, filled with wisdom; and in favour with God.” From this scripture insight, I understood what Bowlby was saying in the quotation below.

Bowlby turned to a combination of scientific disciplines, including psychoanalysis, ethology, cognitive psychology, and developmental psychology, for an array of compatible concepts that could explain affectional bonding between infants and their caregivers and the long-term effects of early attachment experiences on personality development and psychopathology. He conceptualized human motivation in terms of behavioural systems, a concept borrowed from ethology, and noted that attachment related behaviour in infancy (e.g., clinging, crying, smiling, monitoring caregivers, and developing a preference for a few reliable caregivers, or attachment figures) is part of a functional biological system that increases the likelihood of protection from predation, comfort during times of stress, and social learning. Preference for a particular caregiver {Has. primary attachment figure) was thought to be based on the familiarity, availability, responsiveness, and reliability of the caregiver (Bowlby, 1969/1982) This article was taken from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 1998, Vol. 74, No. 2, 407-419:[i]

For further understanding of the affectional bonding between infants and parents I would like to give you a few insights from the scriptures.

Parents should be careful of conflicts which creates hatred, animosity, dislike which creates to extreme dislike. Conflicts can never be avoided, but don’t be carried away with it because you break the attachment unaware. The bible says “Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.” [ii]

Parental love through the love of Christ is the only source of forgiving friendliness which overcomes offences. “Whoever would foster love covers over an offence, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” [iii] Offences cannot be avoided. Parents must always be forgiving and be willing to teach and help. 

Parents should live by their faith before their children in order to increase attachment. Loving our children can be very hard, problematic, strenuous, challenging and demanding sometimes. Parents must have sincere love for their children from their heart in order to show their faithfulness to God.The scripture says, “Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.” [iv]

 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” [v]

Attachments refer to the affective ties that youths form with significant others—especially parents. Positive parent-child attachments result in fewer delinquent behaviours because the child does not want to jeopardize the established relationships. Weak attachments minimize the child’s sensitivity to parental opinions, thereby “freeing” the child to deviate in response to situational demands and peer encouragements. Thus, attachment is essentially a social-psychological concept involving the motivational value of social approval (Rankin and Wells, 1994; Wells and Rankin, 1988). [vi]

There are areas which must be dealt with when it comes to attachment. I do agree with Hirschi (1969:85-94) on the way he points out three major dimensions of parent-child attachments: 

(1) Affectional identification—the love and respect that children have for their parents;
(2) Intimacy of communication—the child’s sharing of personal concerns and opinions with parents; and
(3) Supervision—the “psychological” presence of parents when opportunities for delinquency arise. [vii]

There is an old song which blesses me up to now with these words,  “Love is not love, until you give it away. For God so loved the world, the bible says, he gave his son. Never, never say you love, until you give it away.” This challenge Christians to live up to God’s word. In the same way, parental love must be felt, seen and experienced by children. There must be a difference between a friend and a parent’s loving attitude. Parents should love in all situations and under all conditions.
“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit.” [viii]

This scripture passage gives us a great definition of the character and attitudes of love which Apostle Paul is teaching parents. In sickness or health, in poverty or riches, in good times or bad times. Parental love should prevail in all situations of life. I am more impressed with the last part of this scripture potion which says, “But love keeps on going to the end” as well as “Love never dies.”  Some versions of the bible say “Love never fails.” No matter how difficult things may look at the moment in terms of your attachment and your child, “LOVE NEVER FAILS and IT KEEPS ON GOING TO THE END.” [ix]

Availability and attentiveness play a major role in parent-child attachment. Research shows that “The extent to which the mothers appeared attentive and available to the children and supportive to their efforts. A high score on supportive presence involved meeting two criteria: (a) Providing a secure base by  helping the child feel comfortable, and (b) being involved as manifested by the attentiveness to the child and to the task.” Affective Quality (Zaslow, Rabinovich, Suwalsky, & Klein, 1988) is an important construct in the cluster of Positive Attitude. Zaslow et  al. (1988, p. 290) defined this concept as “the mother’s expression of positive affect to the baby, the mother’s expression of negative affect to the baby, and the degree to which mother and infant engaged in reciprocal interactions.”

Some single parents do feel inferior, mediocre, of lower level in their performance when it comes to parental attachments. People are different, in some families, it’s the father who does not have the gift of bonding and in other families it’s the mother. This does not affect much as long as they are supporting and understanding  each other in their goals of maintaining and increasing the attachment. What is not good is tearing apart each other in the presence of your children.

Nagin and Paternoster (1991:175) said, “In constructing the measure of parental attachment, we assumed that as long as an emotional bond was forged with one parent it would serve as an effective inhibitor of delinquency. For this reason, the measure of attachment to parent employed here reflects either the father or mother parental attachment score, whichever evidenced the greater amount of emotional bonding.”[x]

I would like to securely say that most of the results of attachment which are experienced by children are mostly the outcome of the past attachment given by parents to the children from conception age. Agnew (1991) has suggested that most measures of attachment tacitly include past behaviours and feelings. Respondents are asked to summarize their past feelings rather than simply identify their present situation (e.g., “My mother/father and I do things together that we both enjoy doing”). Thus, the association between attachment and delinquency is “contemporaneous.” [xi]

Yes, keep on keeping on and you will enjoy the bonding from the attachment until the later years of your life.

REFERENCE

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[i] Bowlby, J. (1982). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. New York: Basic Books. (Original work published 1969)
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 1998, Vol. 74, No. 2, 407-419:

[ii] Proverbs 10:12 (NIV)

[iii] Proverbs 17:9 (NIV)

[iv] 1 Peter 1:22 (NIV)

[v]  1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)

[vi] Rankin, Joseph H. and L. Edward Wells (1990) The effect of parental attachments and direct controls on delinquency.

Journal of Research in Crime and Delinquency 27:140-165.

(1994) Social control, broken homes, and delinquency. In Gregg Barak (ed.).

Varieties of Criminology: Readings

[vii] Hirschi, Travis (1969) Causes of Delinquency. Berkeley: University of California Press.

[viii] 1 Corinthians 13:3-8 (MSG)

[ix]  1 Corinthians 13:3-8 (MSG)

[x] Nagin, Daniel S. and Raymond Paternoster (1991) On the relationship of past and future participation in delinquency.

Criminology 29:163-189.

[xi] Agnew, Robert (1991) A longitudinal test of social control theory and delinquency. Journal of  Research in Crime and Delinquency 28:126-156.